Well I've never used this before but I think its probably time to.
A lot of thing's have been going on in my life that I am not sure how to take the road ahead of me.
I am 17 years of age and I loved my life. I am to turn 18 in 16 days and I plan to move out. Problem is, my friend who I was supposed to move out with got the apartment to early to house one of her homeless friends, now we're behind on payments and I don't have a job.

I know that she had to do it and I understand if it's one of your best friends. But moving a plan back a month and screw up everything. I am unable to get out my money from the bank due to a potential identity theft from one of the bankers who worked their. Now we aren't just behind on Dec. rent, but Jan. rent is coming up and theirs no way to pay it. My part of the bill is $500. But with the plan moved back by so much I didn't have enough time to get a job. I drained all my assets only able to bring out from people about $300 for my Dec. part. But now I need $700 for Jan. I still want to move out because my family is all insane and they do literally plan on killing each other/themselves.

I do sympathize with her, but if her friend isn't going to get a job then it wasn't worth it. He bums of of her and has been living at the apartment for a month. Leaving in the afternoon and not coming back until the next afternoon day... he doesn't have a job yet he parties all night. I swear that this would've worked if we were actually able to do it the way it was supposed to. I don't know what to do, I want to tell her that I'm not in anymore because I can't make it and we started to soon, but that's $300 down the drain. I could always persuade the landlord but thats a high risk and my sympathy only lasts enough for one run, after that I don't think I could persuade him for more. I am planning on getting a credit card but I would still need a job to get that and also I don't think it's possible to pay rent, power, or water with a card.

The icing on the cake is that NOW she's complaining about spending so much money. Yes, she spent so much, but she IS the one that wanted to get it a month earlier then planned. She could've easily persuaded the people that kicked out her friend by paying them instead, would have been a lot cheaper and we would have had the money for when we finally got the apartment.

I believe in God, and I pray to him even when I am not in need, but now I am and my prayers have fallen on deaf ears. I've gotten to the point where stealing seems the best route, my family has an old safe that supposedly has money in it, combination 3-69-80, but it's so old I think the mechanism may have broken on it. I don't know what to do anymore, everything I look at makes me think of my future. My plans had been set, the pieces in play, and I had thought I had been ready for every move, especially one where we would be behind payment, but I didn't see this... I didn't see us housing someone, especially someone that uses the power like that.

Another thing, it's a one bedroom, me and my friend were gonna share but I didn't see her relationship with her new friend and it seems to be growing and honestly that makes me feel uneasy, I don't want to fall asleep on a sticky pillow. I look to the darkness of the streets through the storage room window now, and see nothing but the faint reflection of my uncles white car. I look around and see nothing but the clothes that pile in here and my old toys, probably the only things that make me happy. Not because I play with them, no. But because it brings back those memories of never having to worry. Always smiling even after I had been hit my mom, cousin, uncle, etc. I came up smiling after walking up a steep hill in the rain with toys in hand. Heh... even that time my cousin pushed me in a wheel barrow, we hit a rock and I flew and had to be taken in to get stitches. Those time I played as a kid and had no feeling of sadness.

I miss... feeling happy for longer then a day. Completely happy for one day then continue the happiness through the weeks...

I take a big sigh and look down at the floor... I look at my keyboard now watching as I type, writing this has calmed me partially but I can still feel the worry, the hurt, the anger... I guess it's better then me getting high or drunk... but... to feel happy again, to be with those that will help you forget the bad... had that with my friends just yesterday... watched Avatar 3D... how fun... I was poor... but it was fun... though I would like to pay my friend back for treating for me... That's it for this one, until I write again, Happy New Years guys...